Dear Comrade New-hire,
Welcome to the Antifa family. We had a high number of applicants, and we chose you because we believe your enthusiasm and experience with punching things will have a major impact on the faces of Nazis.
When you report to the office on Monday, you’ll meet your…
So whassup, man?
Yo, you know I had to call, you know why right?
Because, yo, I heard you never got that COVID vaccination, right?
You know what I wanna hear, right?
Whatchu wanna hear?
I wanna hear you got that jab like the Wu-Tang Clan
Since the rise of Trumpism, Republicans have abandoned all pretense of being a party with a coherent platform. Rather than focusing on improving the lives of all Americans, the political landscape within the GOP boils down to pleasing a corrupt failed president and his fanatical base that refuses to live…
My very dear wife,
Indications are very strong that we shall engage the enemy presently, perhaps on the morrow. Lest I not be able to write you again, I am compelled to scribble a few lines that may fall under your eye in the loneliest of nights.
My love for…
1.) Is there a Sons of Anarchy convention in town?
2.) In my opinion, the Honda Gold Wing blows away a Harley Knucklehead.
3.) Barkeep, can you flip on Cagney & Lacey since no one is using that TV?
4.) I just don’t get the appeal of chrome.
I, The Red-Blooded American Male, do solemnly swear…
That I will support and defend the good parts of the Constitution of the United States — like the right to own tanks — against all enemies, illegal and domesticated.
That I will bear true religious faith and allegiance to The Donald…
Player Name: Gary Doyle
Position: Right Field
Immediate Supervisor: Coach
Team: Dale’s Tackle and Donuts
Attendance and Punctuality: You rode your bike 20 miles to get to every game because you didn’t have a ride, exhibiting true dedication to the team.
Innovation and Creativity: Lacking proper baseball attire, you said…
Well, it’s been four long decades of suffering and yearning for new ABBA music. Sure, they gave me Mamma Mia!, the broadway musical, Mamma Mia!: The Movie, and its sequel, Mamma Mia!: Here We Go Again.
But what I wanted was a new album from the original Swedish supergroup, not…
1. I’m ready to get off, take the next one.
2. Slow down, you’re going too fast.
3. Silly goose, honk a little louder why don’t you.
4. I’m really close. Damn it, there goes my turn!
5. You got him all riled up. Just let him go.